Republican Dumpster

Thursday, December 08, 2005

On Politics and Religion

Hello There,

It is time once again to follow-up on the latest news of the wonderful and enlightening world of politics and religion. We will look at everything from the percieved state of Christianity, the attack on Christmas, the fall of Terminator Tom DeLay, and my personal favorite, Day 3 of Pat and Jerry: How they came to be.

Well, lets start by addressing the percieved state of the christian faith, as expressed by its followers or those that use it only when necessary. Rule 1: If you are going to quote the bible, please do not just quote what will support your positon. This gives educated people the appearance that you rely on specifc passages only, I liken it to conducting an experitment in flourine chemistry, but without any specifc model to base your findings. Religious "experts" have used this method to decieve many "lazy" people that would not normally take the time necessary to read all the material into believing their position is grounded in moral truth; aka; wolf in a sheepskin.
Rule 2: Do not ignore the warning signs given by the false prophets, i.e.. not allowing others to state or show their support against or for,said agenda or proposition, although I suspect the latter has no problem getting air time, just listen to Bill O'Really or Sean Insanity for this. People that view these types of programs or listen to this type of person will find themselves agreeing with them most of the time on any number of issues, no matter if they are for or against it.
Rule 3: I would suspect that this rule will apply to most of us who purchase books, but here goes. Have you ever stopped and noticed that most of the books that are #1 on the NYT usually have something to do with politics, either one way or another. Most are titled with something that helps instruct the reader about their position and what they can do to help, i.e. buying said books. Take a look at Whos Looking Out for You, Let Freedom Ring, How to talk to a Liberal and my personal favorite, Lies and the Lying Liars That Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right. Although to its credit, Al Franken's book was thourghly referenced checked and was quiet a read. The others fall short of being good books by many educated professionals standards, even literature professors I know thought these books fell way below the standards of good reading material, instead, they placed them in the category of hate, poorly researched, (try following up of Sean Hannitys book for this one), and half truths, no matter what these professors political make up was. This leads me to believe that most of these #1 books are just pandering to those of us that fall below a certain income line anyway, which is certainly the case with Bill O'Reilly, who claims to be as hard working as you and me. This illustrates a very fine point which I will attempt to drive home with some of you; your responses to this kind of material as soon as it hits the shelves is "clik whirr," meaning that it is automatica. You will just buy it because it supports you position, some of you will even attempt to get your talking points from it because you cannot do the research yourselves.

Attacking Christmas:
Rule 1: If you are going to make a bold statement and take a stand like the one Bill O'Really and Jerry Falwell have, you better be able to back it up. I am bulletproff on this one it was once said; Christmas does come from the Pagans in the form of the Winter Solstice festival that happened every year on when, December 25. All most people need to do is go to the library and check this out. This Christian religion is not what it seems, but dont tell the likes of Bill, Pat, and Jerry. They still believe that the book is correct and that it was written by God himself. The book was written by men, edited by Constatine II (whom himself was a Pagan) and placed into production by the Catholic church. Constatine was a Roman pagan, as was 99.9 % of Romans in that era, although his army was mainly christian. In order to get them to fight for a pagan leader, Constatine had to convince them he had a revelation, and boy did he, it worked.

Rule 2: If you are going to advocate the practical boycott of Wal-Mart, KMart, and the likes, you better be a reformed shopper. Listen to Bill O'Reallys comments on Tuesday and Wed. about people that shop at these fine stores. It does not mirror his "I am just a hard working man, like you" motiff. By the way, the only people that shop at these stores for Pat, Bill, and Sean are their maids, you know, those highly paid and skilled professionals that put up with this type of bull. Why havent Bill and Sean been breaking the Presidents balls of the proposed immigration reforms lately, oh, it must have something to do with pay and benefits.

Rule 3: If you are going to say Happy Holidays, please, for the love of God, say it with a convincing smile, at least try to act like your happy about it. I do not find this politically incorrect or in any way vulgar. This has been taken seriously by only the few elite that have the means to get it heard anyway. How does this offend them you might ask, well, they feel it deprives them of their presents, usually in the form of control. Also, if there is one or more holliday falling in the same time frame, why not say happy hollidays, it is easier of course. I know, lets just say, Hail Great Wise One or Two and be done with it. This is funny if you think about it, this happened last year and the year before, but as usual, it died down after old Bill, Pat, and Jerry got their fill of food, fun, hookers, and presents and then they moved on to bigger and better things, like evolution, funny, they cannot even be credible on that either.

Terminator Tom DeLay:

Rule 1: If only paper money and coins constitutes currency and not check, then I need to cash my checks in. I will galdly write them for any amount and not repay, nope never, you cant make me, Toms lawyer will be hired if you try. This is just plain, pull it out your ass funny; I have heard alot of things in my time, like the guy to told me the dollar was only worth 37 cents, he backed out of letting me purchase his savings for that rate. This ranks up there with Bill Frist making a doctoral diagnosis from the floor of the legislature. Wow, and who said politicans were stupid and could bore the hell out of the common person. First Tom, you went on the air, FOX News of course, and told the good veiwers that you were in fact corrupt and had been the target of various allegations. This does not look good for you, better call in the favors from your alter ego, HotTub Tom for help.

Rule 2: You might seem more credible if you wore better clothing, like a Aerosmith T-Shirt and some ripped jeans, and to top it off, a pair of Birkenstocks, we know you love the environment. Also, stop calling every judge in the Great state of Texas, I have no idea why you guys from Texas call it that, politically motivated. Pretty soon you will run yourself out of Texas judges and straight into Alabama, remember old Roy. We know what you are trying to pull here, the old "everyone is out to get me" crap, hey Tom, that worked when we were in grade school, your supposed to be an adult, and as such, you for one should know how to take responsibility for your own actions. Stop blaming others, we already know most them are singing like the church chour you attend, it is just a matter of time. You have brouth disgrace to the office and not only do the American people know it, most of your former allies in Washington know it too.

Rule 3: A known varible in public relations: Never state that you have "No Comment". This just tells people that something shady has happened and that you are just in need of a time out to think of a good lie to cover it up. It is noteworthy of you to point out that this is politically motivated, partisian politics, and yadda, yadda, yadda. You just dont get it do you Tom, you are not as powerful as you think, it has been said "keep your friends close, your enemies closer" better start looking around Tom. On the other hand, I have to kuddos for being smart, but not being intelligent on this subject.

Time for Day 3: Pat and Jerry: How They Came to Be

Back at Gospel Gulch, Pat and Jerry have just discovered that Jim Baker is falling from grace.

Pat: Jerry, do you think that Tammy Fae will be free once Jim is in prison. I think we can use her in our organization, I always wanted my face made up for tv. (That water slide looks fun, I wonder if I could slide down it naked) ha..ha...ha

Jerry: Pat, did you just say naked and slide.

Pat: Jerry, I was thinking out loud, that is how all my grrreat ideas come to me. Sometimes, Jerry, when Im at home alone in the dark, I think about gay people and all the things I want to do to them. Jerry, um...did I tell you of my great hate for gays...

Jerry: Pat, you do need some form of help, I think you should call our prayer line. Now, we have purchased our tv station, I think we need to be flown to Alabama for a old time gospel televival Pat. Most of those people are bow legged and ignorant anyway, lets take their money Pat. What do you think.

Pat: That sounds good to me, who is going to fly us there anyway Jerry. All we can afford currently is an ultralite plane and I do not think it can hold the both of us.

Jerry: Pat, you imbecil, you have already mentioned Tammy Fae. Lets twist Jims hand into loaning us the PTL jet and other needed equipment. He will believe that we are going to speak out against his being arrested for various crimes and he will cave into our every demand.

Pat: Good idea Jerry, I need to stop for a pee break, the 28 weight loss shakes are kicking my fat butt, not to mention my worn out bladder and poorly functioning liver, and man Jerry, this stuff reeks havoc on your intestinal tract if you know what I mean.

Tune in later for Day 4: Pat and Jerry: How They Came to Be


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